


Reading Bayonetta as a Queer Disabled Woman; a meta.

by Aurora_Lua



Category: Bayonetta (Video Games)
Genre: Crosspost from tumblr, Gen, Meta, minor warnings for biphobia/queerphobia references
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-18
Updated: 2019-10-18
Packaged: 2020-12-22 17:31:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21080381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aurora_Lua/pseuds/Aurora_Lua
Summary: Crossposted from Tumblr. For marginalised fans, fandom can be a medium which one can explore and navigate one's identity. As a queer, disabled fan, Bayonetta, as a character, allowed me explore these elements of my own identity; not least through subtext, but also through transformative fandom. This meta explores how and why such a character resonated with me, and the importance of transformative fandom in personal development.





	Reading Bayonetta as a Queer Disabled Woman; a meta.

Of course, I promised to follow-up on my comments last night on how Bayonetta resonated with me as a queer, disabled woman and why. It, like a lot of tangents I have been on, turned out to be much longer than I expected, to the point of it became a long piece of meta; so, strap in, kids, this is going to be a long, hopefully fun ride.

I should perhaps begin with a bit of backstory. Much has been made of the queer subtext in Bayonetta, and the series’ following amongst queer fans. Not least because of Bayonetta’s relationship with Jeanne, as well as she herself arguably coded as bisexual, pan, or in any other way queer, and the elements of campiness in the game. For a series that has courted praise and controversy over its portrayal of sexuality and the cishet male gaze, it is, to me at least, reassuring that the series has a sizeable queer following, if not for the transformative fandom side that manages to “flip” the male gaze-y aspects of the series (but more on that later). As a queer, disabled woman; specifically, bisexual and Autistic, she, as a character, resonated with me not only because of the aforementioned queer subtexts, but also of Bayonetta as an outcast in wider society. 

Of course, I should also preface this by saying that there are several subtexts that can be read into Bayonetta, and that my experiences as a queer disabled woman do not represent all members of the community, so I ask of anyone reading this to take my words with subjectivity.

There has a lot that has been said of Bayo’s relationship with Jeanne coded, or least interpreted, as a romantic one, what with the elements of forbidden love common in transformative femslash fandom (which I’m a sucker for, regardless of ship), and the mutual love and respect the two have for each other. On a personal level, however, I found Bayonetta’s outcasting from the Umbra, and deemed “impure” for being neither Umbra nor Lumen, as an analogy for biphobia and exclusionism in the wider community. Whilst, in my close social circle, I have not encountered as much direct biphobia, I have always found it hard to “fit in” with either community; mainstream cishet culture, and the queer community at large. It is an all-too familiar feeling, feeling as, and sometimes outright being treated as, too “gay for the straight community”, or too “straight for the gay community” (so to speak); either ignored, or hated, or seen as “abnormal” or a “fake”. Looking back at her backstory, her exclusion from the Umbra, and feeling as if she was unable to belong to either clan, felt all too familiar to me; one side seeing us as an “abomination”, and the other erasing our identity.

On a similar note, her exclusion from Umbran life, and the sheer loneliness she felt in childhood (and adulthood), reminded me of my own experiences of isolation and bullying growing up. Having very few friends, in part due to my disability, and inability to make friends with people, I was very lonely, and often felt left out of my social circle; much like Bayo’s abject loneliness, in childhood as an outcast, in adulthood as “a witch with no memories”; aside from Jeanne (who she was lucky to have; I had no-one). In addition, there is, if any implication in the game is to be believed, also how she may’ve been mistreated by her peers; which in turn reminded me of how I was bullied at school. Whilst this tends to be more in the territory of fanfiction, the implication this reminded me of how I was (verbally and sometimes physically) bullied for being disabled. Though loosely linked, it resonated with me because of those same feelings of being withdrawn, and marginalised for being “different”. 

Going with the interpretation of her as (one of the few) queer characters in gaming, she aided me in navigating my sexuality. Whilst we cannot, and should not, overlook some of the problematic elements in the series (the extent of which she is objectified for the cishet male gaze, for example), in certain ways, I found her, to me at least, empowered in her sexuality. To a certain extent, she is never shamed for being sexual (though the juxtaposition of sex and violence is a topic worth discussing); and she revels in the over-the-top nature of her sensuality, to the level of camp. Optics aside, as someone who has had a long struggle to feel comfortable about sex, and, with the queer subtext in mind, the idea of her being seen as hella attractive to just about anyone, regardless of gender or sexuality, helped me to become a bit more sex-positive. 

There is then, of course, her relationships with not only Jeanne, but Luka. Jeanne’s unconditional love and trust for Bayo, concern for her well-being, and in the context of a queer relationship, was what really helped me to reassure my identity as a bisexual woman. Though Luka is initially wary of her, the implication that he eventually grows to love her towards the end of the game; and possibly harbouring a (begrudging) crush on her throughout, hit a note with me. Whilst not the same unconditional love as her and Jeanne, the idea of someone finding me attractive, in spite of my flaws, gives me that same hope. Both gave me hope, and reassured my identity as a queer woman; and of course, finding some form of love someday! Only perhaps with a little less religious fanaticism. 

By far, however, the one context Bayonetta has aided me in navigating my sexuality is within transformative fandom. When I first got into the series, I found myself reading a lot BayoJeanne works, fanfiction, art; in fact, BayoJeanne, as a ship, was what first piqued my interest in the series, stumbling across a discussion on their relationship in the context of queer representation, as well as a discussion with a friend about the subtext. The sheer diversity of fanworks, exploring their relationship during the Clan Wars, to just domestic bliss and day-to-day life, helped me to become fully assured in my queerness; aside from the usual “tragedies” and fridging of queer sexuality in mainstream fiction. Similarly, with the (few) BayoLuka works, the positive portrayal of a queer-coded person in a “het” relationship, without judgement or jealousy (or biphobia), reassured me not to feel ashamed of my sexuality, or whom I was attracted to. Shipping them both together… Well, that’s another whole story to tell at some point! 

I want to end this all off with this. I’ve always resonated with characters that are completely unlike me, personality-wise. If anyone knew me; the Peaches, the Zeldas, the River Songs of the world, all-powerful characters in their own ways, and providing some form of escape from myself. Bayonetta is no different; an all-mighty, hella attractive witch, and just perhaps the most powerful being in the universe. However, she, as a character, had more of an “anchor” to me, because of the queer subtexts associated with her, being alienated as child, her soul-crushing loneliness from childhood through her adult years. Problematic elements aside, she is powerful, wisecracking, and one hell of a badass; and yet, has all-too-human fears and weaknesses. Even with a lot of games where the characters are more “down to earth”, such as EarthBound, I could never relate to any of them due to how “ordinary” they were; yet Bayo, over-the-top and extra in many ways, resonated with me so much more, in spite of this. I also cannot understate how the transformative side of the fandom helped me navigate my own sexuality; something I will always be grateful for. Bayonetta, as a character, and a series, has changed my life in such short time, in so many ways, and I will always be indebted to it for doing so. 

I would like to give thanks to Platinum Games, Kamiya-sama, Shimazaki-sama, Hellena Taylor, and the Bayonetta fandom at large, for, well, everything, and all for changing my life. And a big thanks to anyone who reads this (long-ass) piece! I hope you enjoyed it as much I did writing this (all one-thousand, three-hundred, and eighty-four words and three hours of this)!


End file.
